Savor the journey…

pink ink…

So, I had 2 days of real self-pity! Don’t I deserve at least that for the possibility of having chemo again? I think so. Wallow, I did. While the pain of a double mastectomy is daunting, it is really the possibility of chemo that has laid me out. This recent turn of events even had my dear “I can handle anything” husband, a tad discombobulated.

After 2 days, my Cancer Mentors each effectively said “Buck up!! You do what you have to do”! Tracey told me to stop talking about it and think about my new boobs. Gina told me I will be fine and to enjoy the next few days.

So guess what? I did. I went to lunch with some girlfriends on Friday. I was a little tired, a little nauseous. But I laughed for the 1st time in a couple days! We talked boob size! (The consensus is, big enough to make my husband smile…a lot) We talked Jack & Jill, Links, AKA. We talked about a “Poetess” gone astray! (And boy, did she go astray…) We talked about the waitress who sounded like Mini Mouse. Most important, we LAUGHED. They’re my tight Phoenix girls, and they knew exactly what I needed. I love them for that!

Saturday night, my hubby “Big B” and I went to “The” Holiday party. You know, the one that I was trying to find a dress for? One of my fashion idiosyncrasies is that I never wear black to an event. Why? Because almost every other woman will have on black or navy blue. Boring! I figure, why not “go hard” and wear…COLOR! But this year I had the added stress of finding a dress that covered my daggone PORT! Once again, it comes back to the PORT. You know, the one that is NOT going to come out in 2 days! Aahh, but I digress.

This week I found a dress. Yay! So Big B and I had our close friends over for cocktails and revelry, and then hit the party! What a great time! We called it my boob “last hoorah”! Great music, friends, and memories. So many people didn’t think I would come, and said they were glad I did. I never questioned coming. All who know me know I love a good “dress up” party! My other Cancer Mentor Gina, was there with just the right encouraging words, and assured me she would see me at the hospital. Then, we shared a joke and laughed! And to top the evening off, my husband gets up after dinner and “salutes” me with a piece of a poem he wrote for me over 17 years ago! LOVE IT! So all in all, a great evening!

Finally, this afternoon my parents arrived. We hung out, did some shopping and had dinner. Just regular talk. No heaviness. Just enjoying the time we have before Wednesday.

To be clear, I am still very stressed with all the things I have to put in place before the surgery. But as my big sis said, not everything is going to be done by then. (Thanks Michele!) There may be more course changes in the future. That’s ok. I learned this weekend that the best thing to do in the Cancer Lane, is to take pause and,

Savor the journey…

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. JC Ellis
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 15:23:09

    Barb, I just got caught up on my pink ink/red ink reads. I am enjoying reading about your experience and appreciate your candor! Keep keeping it real! The post about your “chicklet” crying and worrying about you brought me to tears as did the photo of you post-op. For the first time, you looked sick to me, but then when I looked closer, I could see that your eyes were still dancing. I’m so glad that you have a strong group of AZ girls standing as your cancer mentors and friends for life! Like you, I too very seldom wear black to a black tie event. LOL! I didn’t know we shared that quirk. You rocked that pink off the shoulder gown!!! I know you and G will have an opportunity to meet and stand side by side on a national platform to share your cancer lane experiences! And when that happens, I know you will be frocked fabulously and representing for the mocha girls everywhere!! Just invite your girl to the after party!


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