Love…pink ink

Pink ink…

Dear friend,

Yesterday was a tough day. I wish I had been there for you. Yesterday, you went in for a double mastectomy. I wore our common shirt in your honor! But you were 2000 miles away! I know you were scared, but resigned! I know I was! I wish I had been there to hold your hand. I wish I had been there to make you laugh at our crazy times in college. At our crazy times since then! But I wasn’t. Without a doubt, you were surrounded by love, near and far. Without a doubt, you had great doctors. Without a doubt, you made it through. I was told the Doc didn’t find more cancer! Awesome! For all of that, I am happy!

But, I am also very sad. Sad, because you had to have this life changing experience! Sad, because I couldn’t be there. Yes, that is selfish, I know. But that’s honest. I know the road ahead. Please know, I will walk this road with you! I am sad, because it brought back so many memories of my own journey! Some, I didn’t know I had! Today, I asked my Cancer Mentor why it brings me to tears every time I think of you lying in that bed, in pain, with your new body. She said it’s because I know the road ahead, and more important, because it’s someone I love. This, I know is true. My Cancer Mentor Tracey still helps me. Every day! And I will help you! This cancer lane changed me & Tracey. It will change you too. But, I will be there with you, every step of the way. After all, you were there for me!

This morning, less than 24 hrs after your surgery, your mom said you were comforting HER, with jokes, cards, and scripture! True “AC” style! 24 hours after surgery for me? Well let’s just say, I don’t even remember 24 hrs after surgery! So I know you are going to continue being a Rockstar!

So as I sit here, enjoying some well earned quiet time with Big B, I cry. But right now, at this moment, I cry because I’m happy! I’m happy because you are still here! Happy that WE are still here! Happy that we can create new memories with our new boobs! See you soon, my friend!

Love…Pink ink

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. inkwellchicks
    May 27, 2012 @ 12:51:06

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and A. I felt the sadness you feel about not being there for your surgery, only I DIDN’T know the road ahead of you. I only knew / know that i didn’t / don’t want to lose my friend, and that I wanted to be there to take some of your pain away, i can only imagine how reflecting on your journey to this point multiplies and complicates your feelings. Sending you a hug. I’m off for a bike ride this morning and red ink will wear my pink scarf in honor of you and A.


  2. Dee
    May 28, 2012 @ 14:44:56

    Your post brought back the first day that we met you at NU. Anne said immediately, Barbra and Ree Ree should be roomies. They are alike.
    Little did we all know that you would share so many good times, as well as breast cancer. She is sleeping like a baby this morning all wrapped up in all the pillows, and items that you advised. God is Good! Enjoy some time with hubby and daughter. I am flunking nursing 101, but her friends and Bill have done a great job. You prepared her well! XOXO-D.Crews


  3. TME
    Jul 03, 2012 @ 07:37:57

    Love you both!!! Great post. Beautifully written. “Felt” the energy and share the sentiments. Well done. ~ T Marie


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