Mildly optimistic

Pink Ink…

Sitting, & reflecting in between appts at Mayo. Did you really think my time there was done? On the contrary. Good thing I love Mayo. Still hoping to make my “I am Mayo” commercial! LOL If I could just be done!

Take a quick walk with me in the Cancer Lane. It will be quick because Mayo stays on schedule!

Last week, I had my 3-month check up. I have heard that many women are very nervous when these “post treatment” appointments roll around. I was not. Maybe, because I haven’t really “finished” treatment. Between physical therapy and these headaches, I haven’t had a break. I dream of the day I have 3 weeks, let alone 3 months without going to Mayo. But I digress…

I found out 2 things that day. My insurance, which I thought was great, doesn’t cover the test you need to really test if all the cancer is gone! (asinine!) BUT it does cover tests that, when put together, can give you the same result…maybe. Hence my visit today and next week. Second, my doc told me that he was “mildly optimistic” about my prognosis, my survival.

Mildly optimistic.

Hey, it is better than pessimistic, so I took it! Two days later, I was off to the Plastics Doc to talk about reconstruction. Finally, I would get to plan my new boobs! Talk about excited! While I appreciate the expanders, I would love some more “natural” feeling breasts. I am sure Big B would agree! But alas, I continue to be an “overachiever” when it comes to breast cancer drama. Nutshell: My 3rd degree radiation burns (on top of 3 surgeries) have so damaged my skin, that they now cannot do traditional reconstruction. Seriously? They are scared my skin/body can’t take it. But, I can’t keep the expanders in b/c they are not made to stay in! Plus, they are hard. Surgery is still in my future, but, once again, it will be challenging. I can put a regular implant in my left breast. As for the right, there is a chance I can use stomach fat to create a boob. BUT, the doc isn’t sure I have enough for that. (I think I do! Tummy Tuck!) When I asked my doc if having stomach fat in my boob would expose me to more cancer, she said no. But if I gained weight as I got older (as women do), it may make my boob…just one…grow! Big B and I laughed at the thought of 1 boob being bigger than the other.

My self imposed nickname of Frankenstein is here for good I guess.

The next day was tough for me. I stayed home to “get my mind right”. Can nothing be simple for me? It also finally hit me that the type of breast cancer I have has a 14 % 3 year survival rate. 14%! Wow. After wallowing a bit, I unpacked my big girl panties, shook them out, and got back at it!

Later today I have an appt with yet another doctor to figure out what to do about my headaches. My pink big girl panties are on and pulled tight! –>

Wednesday, a reporter asked me what my goals were now, that I am out of treatment. I must admit that I was taken aback. All year, my goal has been to “finish”. To be done! I paused. I said that my initial response would be to keep giving “cancerrealtalk”. But most important, my goal is to be with my family. To enjoy my family, without the Cancer Lane being part of the discussion!

I am…mildly optimistic!

5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. CH
    Aug 24, 2012 @ 20:25:21

    Is it just me or are those the tiniest and cutest little “Big Girl Panties” ever? Even in transition, you’re always thinking ahead. I really like your style, girl: nothing mild about your lust for life or your intent to raise awareness to anyone who can hear your voice, read your blog or retweet your tweets.

    Work it , girl. : )

    And I was thinking…..I hear ya on feelin a bit cobbled together a la “Frankenstein”…but that’s a wee bit harsh and not nearly glam enough for you. So, as you are a shoe girl, I’m going to replace that tag with something more sweet for your feet from the “cobbler of life”…you’ll hereby be referred to lovingly in my ode to B Watts poem, below:


    Hugs and stuff,


  2. Dee
    Aug 24, 2012 @ 21:48:04

    I am extremely optimistic! Wishing you the best for you and your family, Dee Crews


  3. magaela
    Aug 26, 2012 @ 04:19:03

    Please publish this blog as a book! I can’t not tell you how much you two have blessed me as I walk along my Cancer Lane. Thanks so very much. 🙂


  4. helen imes
    Aug 27, 2012 @ 15:58:18

    Rest assured that we are here for you and with you every single step of the way. Our love remains constant. MONA


  5. TME
    Sep 05, 2012 @ 18:47:24

    Love this update. And CH can go to the head of the class with her poem. You know I loves a goooood poem. 🙂 Laser-like focus on extreme optimism over here.


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