My own thing

Pink Ink…

Brief, off the cuff post…

As Red Ink just posted, it is crucial to “have your own thing” to balance one’s lives. It is in this exact moment, that I realize that having my own thing is going to get me through the next month. I have been eagerly awaiting October and breast cancer awareness month. In my mind, it will be a time of celebration. Between surviving Life in the Cancer Lane, 17 years of a rock solid marriage, and…life, we have a lot to the CELEBRATE! (Who could beat a wedding anniversary on the day of the Race for a Cure?) I have also been looking at October as a focused time of dialog for me surrounding breast awareness. You know, “cancerrealtalk”! But I realize it is going to be a little bit more difficult than I thought.

I still have unresolved medical issues. That’s another post. But honestly, I am realizing that I still have to learn to breathe, to take in the events of the last year. I still need to mourn the life I had, while celebrating my new life. Crazy emotions are attacking at the most random times! (This is what I refer to as “cancerrealtalk”, keeping it real) Example, last Saturday was the actual anniversary of the day I was diagnosed. I thought it would come and go, with no issues. For the most part it did. In an effort to want to “share” how a diagnosis of breast cancer reads, I finally took the time to read the initial diagnosis, and then the 2nd opinion. My goal was to find the wording, tweet it out with a funny quip and move on. Instead, I was reduced to tears. That is also another post for another day. Last September, I heard the words, read the words. Last Saturday, with a year of experience under my boobs, I FELT the words. More healing to be done.

Just now, after interviewing a close friend, I sat down to watch last week’s episode of “Parenthood”. Red Ink and I share our love of this show. It amazes me how we ALWAYS find parallels in this show. It is definitely a “sleeper” show, missed by many. But it is a true winner. SPOILER ALERT. In the last 5 minutes of the episode, one of the main characters goes in for a routine mammogram. Before they even finished the scene, I was in tears. I knew where this was headed. The next scene, as she tells her husband the results, truly floored me, and had me reaching for the phone. Who to dial 1st? Big B? Red Ink? (A few days ago, Red Ink had asked me if I had watched the show. By her tone I knew it was going to be something BIG! But not this.) Instead of reaching for the phone, I reached for the computer.

I read Red Ink’s post.

I am reminded of a few things. First, this journey is not over, and it will continue to be painful for a while. Second, I should be thankful that I do indeed have my own thing. I am certain I will need the distraction during the sure to come low points this coming October. Finally, more people should be watching Parenthood! (Check your local listings) I have no doubt that they are going to handle this with the grace they have exhibited when tackling other hot topics. (bi-racial dating, Aspergers/autism, infidelity, adoption etc)

Whew, it’s about to get real!

Excuse me while I get back to…my own thing!

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. TME
    Sep 26, 2012 @ 03:17:07

    {{round of applause}} aaaaand {{standing ovation}}}. Carry on, Soror!!!

    Reply

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