Peace on October 21st

Pink Ink…
A 1st for today! A guest posting by one of my besties. A friend who has held my hand from afar. She gave me many things including my prized chemo bag and space to cry for my daughter. She has loved Lil B as only another Leo can! You never know how you affect someone’s life. I am honored to have her as a sister-friend! Enjoy!

Guest Ink…

Thirty two years ago today, when I was eight years old, my dear mother, Dorothy Louise Taylor Hall, died from colon cancer at the age of 40. I am now 40 and my oldest son is 8. And my dear friend PinkInk is battling breast cancer and fighting to ensure she will be around for her daughter, Lil B. It has all come around full circle, but not by coincidence. In the deepest place in my heart I know that it is by my mother’s angelic design. You see, I am Lil B. I see myself in her. I am the little girl who lost her mother to cancer. Although, unlike the “3 Bs”, we didn’t get to fight her battle – it was too sudden and short, a mere two weeks from detection to death, and then we were left shocked and shattered trying to pick up the pieces.

This day, October 21st, which has always been dark, sad, lonely and gray for me, is now a day a victory. Victory for PinkInk. See, PinkInk’s going to win. In fact, she’s already won. Because she is fighting it every single day with an open and accessible candor, a remarkable and natural sense of humor, by arming her sweet Lil B with information and thus interest and understanding so she too can participate in the fight. She is fighting by walking for Komen, being interviewed in magazines and on local news stations and most of all with her dialogue to all of us, her friends, family, followers and supporters, collectively her admirers, who she keeps posted and updated with this blog, quippy emails and texts and with her closest friends – long, deep and emotional conversations, e.g. “cancer real talk” as she has famously coined it.

During one (of many) of these conversations with PinkInk recently, we were talking about how it was for me to lose my mother. After all, I am what she DOES NOT want for Lil B. I am the reason she is fighting. So that Lil B will NOT be me. I’ve always loved Lil B dearly but this fight of PinkInk’s is to me, a fight for Lil B. I didn’t get to fight for my mother. My family kept the gravity of her illness from my brother and me because we were so young. I don’t blame him, especially now that I’m a parent. How do you tell your child that their mother is dying? I didn’t even know or fully understand how sick she was. In fact, she wrote me a letter from the hospital saying that she would be home in few days, not to worry, and that I should carry on my normal tasks of doing my homework and not arguing with my older brother (well 1 out of 2 ain’t bad!). A few days later she was gone. So when I see Lil B walking for the cause and doing super adorable promotional videos for Komen, my heart is warmed. I have joined this fight along with and for Lil B in my mother’s honor, for my sake and for Lil B’s benefit.

Lori flew in to help me celebrate kicking Cancer’s butt!

I once heard someone say that if there’s day that you always dread when it comes every year because of a death, tragedy or terrible memory, you should actively seek out ways to do things on that day to create new and positive memories so that bad ones don’t always incarcerate you. So today, on October 21st, I claim victory. Not loss. Victory for PinkInk, for Lil B, for myself and for all the little girls whose moms are battling or lost their battles to cancer. And for the moms, God bless their brave souls, especially my dear PinkInk. YOU fight on, since my mother could not, so that you can win, Lil B can win and I can win. This is a new day. I won’t cry for the loss of my mother (even though I cried therapeutic buckets writing this), I will rejoice in the victory that we are claiming. The victory here is PinkInk’s fight – the educating of others, the passionate outreach to everyone, the determination, the 31 days of wearing pink, the blogging, the recording of videos, the tweeting, the Instagram pics of the day, “being on her grind” as she so regularly refers to the sum total. Making a difference – a real difference – by turning the pink ribbon into a tapestry, a line, which others can easily access, grab a hold of, and follow the ride meaningfully into the depths of their hearts. Thank you PinkInk.

Your battle has given me something I never ever dreamed possible… peace on October 21st.

6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Toni
    Oct 21, 2012 @ 22:16:15

    Lori:

    This article really touched my heart. As my Mom has been battling stomach cancer this year. My sister and I just received the best news ever on Wednesday, October 16, 2012, at exactly 4pm. Our mother’s latest cat scan came back clean. She is now cancer free and chemo and radiation is over. However, the journey to a full recovery starts now. At ages 49 and 40 respectively, it still was a horrible journey that we prayed and cried often of the thought of losing her. My nephew turned 18 and my Mom made it to his high school graduation and we kept telling her she had to fight for my son who is 6 so that she would be around for his high school graduation too. I cry as I write this email because I can’t even imagine what you went thorough losing your Mom at such a young age, but now I truly understand why you have always lived life like there is no tomorrow. One of the many things I have always admired about you and now why I understand why your light has always shined so bright. You were living out loud for your Momma!

    TSP

    Reply

  2. Kathy Terry
    Oct 22, 2012 @ 01:03:21

    Wow, an amazing read thanks for sharing. My family and I will continue to keep you lifted in prayer as you kick cancer in the butt. Stay strong and you have a great friend by your side, peace and blessings to you.

    Reply

  3. missvi
    Oct 22, 2012 @ 09:44:40

    Absolutely beautiful.

    Reply

  4. Cute Beltz - Kids & Toddler Belts
    Oct 23, 2012 @ 01:08:50

    Beautiful, well done Lori. That fight continues, blessings!

    Reply

  5. kina arnold
    Oct 24, 2012 @ 12:56:16

    How wonderful it is when sisters can unite in shouts of victory during the struggle and in the heat of the fight. Lori this was so moving and awesome to read and connect…you are exhibiting the love ur mom downloaded for this time. Recognize the Lil B inside of u has grown to be transparent and true…your Mom IS proud. And to my sista PinkInk…I salute and celebrate u in the NOW bc no day is promised to anyone YET HIS promises are yea and amen. Live long life and triumphantly before your baby girl all the while modeling Who and Whom HE called u to be in this season of your life. U are in my prayers. I walked on October 20th for Hodgkins Lymphoma in honor of my dear sista and friend Gina Nicole Gray. I was part of her team of encouragers and intercessors…I will do the same for u. Love ya’ll in spirit and truth Kina

    Reply

  6. helen imes
    Oct 24, 2012 @ 13:08:21

    such beautiful and encouraging thoughts for Lil B. She is a remarkable little girl to me ‘Always has and will be . I think of them everyday. MONA

    Reply

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