From the sidelines . . .

red ink…

I’m sure that a lot of you watched your share of football this Thanksgiving weekend. Last night while watching the USC vs. Notre Dame contest with my husband, I noticed more than usual whenever the cameras focused on the sidelines, to show the coaches and the other players cheering on those in the game. I’ve cheered from the sidelines before as a cheerleader in high school or more recently as a mom cheering for my son in swimming or watching my daughter run track, but this situation feels more like football. Those outside of the action during last night’s game were members of the team to be sure, but they were not facing an immediate hit, and were steps removed. That’s kind of how it feels to be me (and probably more than a few of you) right now in Barb’s life – a close friend living far away with family obligations that won’t allow me to travel (namely school aged children, one with a variety of health challenges) on a moments notice. Most days, I accept that I can’t do more of the things that she really needs right now, but resolve to keep doing something – whatever I can, from here. Like Big B, I was focused last time on getting this behind us, but this time, we’re facing a road with an end that feels more uncertain. I work hard, and pray hard not to let sadness envelope me, especially when I feel like I don’t have a useful role to play. I’m reminded of an episode of Parenthood, when Christine announced that she had cancer, and everyone in the family, wanted to do something “important” because it would prove how close or how necessary they were to her recovery. I am so very clear that I’m NOT even close to the most important character in this drama, but our blog is supposed to help cancer survivors and their families and friends, so I describe my feelings with only a bit of hesitation that others will take it the wrong way. I write this post on the eve of Pink Ink’s first chemo appointment this time to acknowledge that its not easy being on the sidelines, and that I know that family and other friends can relate to this. You feel useless and unsure of what to do that might be helpful. She know’s I’m here, and no doubt that having a cheering section matters, but I just wish there were more that I could do . . . I can’t and it’s hard. Those of us here can support each other and remember that we need to send our energy and good vibes to the star player.

Go for the goal, pink ink!

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Beverly
    Nov 26, 2012 @ 17:22:56

    Thank you for encapsulating the myriad of emotions you are feeling in this post. It spoke to me, and I am sure I will not be the only one to feel this way. Your words, while written from afar, will have an effect that will rally the support of those near and anywhere; and that in and of itself, is invaluable for this support team! Going for the goal, indeed.


  2. yasmin
    Dec 07, 2012 @ 05:17:43

    If I’m in a foxhole, I know you will jump in it with me, like you have with Barb. You and Barb are on the front lines, and there are many of us 1 step behind you, having your back. We love you both more than words can say.


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