Today began with tears. A beautiful day for a long walk around Promontory Point with my faithful dog, Ellie, while listening to gospel music, looking into the sun shining on the water, the tears came unexpectedly. With the beginning of the school year, my house is quiet again (even more so now that my #1 son is off to college), and I felt the absence of my good girlfriend more than everl. I missed sharing first day of school stories, especially as my baby girl began high school….and our “beginning of the year in our organizations” stories…not to mention our renewed goal sharing – from getting into shape, to launching and growing a business. It’s not the same without her. There are things that I still think first of sharing with her. This place…our blog…was borne as a place for our shared conversation. Yet, despite the best intentions to keep it going, it’s hard to talk to (and answer) yourself, and the conversation with “ghost” guests just didn’t come naturally or easily. Everyone found it hard to keep writing.
Miracles happened today as they do everyday – and I take them less for granted than I used to. Although no one exactly fills the space, there are always arms of friendship that appear, seemingly out of nowhere, to surround me. On the Vineyard, at our beloved Inkwell this summer, my husband and children almost never left me alone. Several of my other best girls made sure that they were with me almost every other moment with love and laughter that helped me forge new memories. It was so comforting to see how my girl weighed in through her circle of love on baby girl’s first day of high school. She wanted to know who all of these folks were who “liked” her picture. I told her they were sent by “Auntie B” – I know they were.
I was inspired to write today, after a too long hiatus, by a post card that came in the mail reminding me to get my mammogram. (I scheduled it today!) She was “talking” to me. I stood at the sink – the place where I hear from above – and the faucet was on again. Why so many tears? I’d been hesitating about the upcoming anniversary production of “Life in the Cancer Lane.” As thrilled as I am that her vision is coming to fruition with the Pinkwellchick Foundation, and the play is ready to break out, I’m still kind of angry that she’s not here to see it. It’s hard for me to grieve out loud – on Facebook… online… at a play. Healing hasn’t happened yet. It’s still pretty raw…but the tears told me that I needed to get myself together. I heard my girl saying “Really???” So I made my pledge and got my tickets (I already had airline tickets and a place to stay), and got to work on sponsorships. All it took was an easy ask and one was in. I have organizational meetings in two of the clubs that we shared this weekend and on Monday, so I think my girl was just working on me – giving me the nudge I needed. So it’s my turn to nudge…Have each of you who’s been touched by this blog, asked someone to make a a pledge so that this message about finding, and fighting, and healing and loving and losing can be taken to everyone who needs it?
One day pink ink and I were joking about things that were not funny, and she told me that she “haunt me” if I didn’t do what I promised. She was working overtime today! Rest girl…I’m on it.
If pink ink’s journey inspired you even just a little bit, take a moment to support this effort to make sure that her “real talk” and stories of strength reach everyone who needs it, see http://pinkwellchick.com/litcl-the-play/.
Next order of business…where are my other color inks? Let’s talk…